作者：上犹日期：
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The curve graph describes the different demand for electricity in England between winter and summer,while the pie chart below illustrates the usage of electricity in an average family.
From the two curves of the curve graph, it is clearly evident that the demand for electricity in winter is relatively higher than that in summer. As can be seen from the graph, the curve that acoounts for winter peaks at nearly 50000 units in about 23 o'clock,while that for summer is 20000 units in approximately 2 p.m.
The second graph, presented in a pie chart, shows the proportion in quantity for uses of electricity. We can see from the pie chart that a greatest proportion, 52.5%of electricity, is used in heating up rooms or water. 15% is used for lighting and the like, and another 15% for electric appliances and etc.
The statistics lead to the conclusion that electricity is most used to heating,and that explains the reason why the use of eletricity in winter is higher than summer.
Changed some phrasings to add clarity. The essay, however, is generally clear and sound. Keep it up.
作文百留起来主要是积累素材和资源，平常要多看，重点我建议你看两个方面
第一，句间关联方式，以及你所熟悉，但是会经常用错的动词词组，因为这种东度西用好了是加分工具，但是一旦有误，非但不能显示水平，还陷自己于泥泞之中，不细说；
第二，思维方式，以及在你的思维方式下如何发展出好的文章，每个人都有自己的思想，知只要好好利用，都可以写出好文章，思维方式是不能变的，也就是说，当你看到一个题目时，你对他的大致判断，具体方面是固定的，需要练习道的事在你的思路下如何将文章回写得深刻，或者不深刻，将文章写得开，不拘泥，这都需要训练。
还是像我说的，没时间不要紧，只要方法对就会在短期拓宽思路，如果有具体题目说来会更简洁，不会像这那么啰嗦，
有问题可以再交流，都是答考生，都是朋友，大家都是一家人。
Today,空格we can see对news就不要用see了，we're bombarded by。。。news reports。。。这样的写法会亮把考官瞎眼的 more and more bad news appearing on our television like school标点符号不好，考官像吃苍蝇一样的感觉啊shooting accidents, aircraft accidents重复是要命的啊accidents换成e799bee5baa6e997aee7ad94e78988e69d83366crash吧 or some换成other吧，some不妥 natural catastrophe换成calamities吧，你那个catastrophe字，单复数纠结啊. These kinds标点符号不好，考官像吃苍蝇一样的感觉啊of news重复是要命的啊，news换成tragic events啊、tragedies啊 really shock people 【to a great extent画蛇添足啊】. There 【exist some，人不是东西啊，直接用are，多好啊】 people【who是必须要的啊】 harboringan 这里的几个字太大了啊，你的实力在6.5上下，避免堆砌生僻字啊idea that the trend of more negative news reported by media is detrimental标点符号不好，考官像吃苍蝇一样的感觉啊to our society and individuals. I can’t fully agree with this opinion. 上一句是感受，这里的opinion欠妥啊。I personally feel that they are over sensitive~~之类的。
下面就不看了，我要是写的话，会谴责媒体的做法的，它们像苍蝇喜欢垃圾一样啊。I would detest the media practice of swarming to such dark events。。。。祝你好运啊
Tobegin with, I think the biggest value of news is letting people know the truthand providing people with more useful information. Comparing with the news seemingto be harmonious, people are more supposed to know the news reflecting thereality, which is more profound. For instance, several aircraft accidentshappened last year stimulated people’s nerves about taking plane, and gave riseto people’s high attention on plane safety. Hencef。。。。