英语小故事带翻译（要短的）

A Monkey and a Tiger
Today I am very happy to stand here, telling you a story:A Monkey and a tiger .Every one thinks the monkey is very small, but the tiger is strong.In this story Little Monkey uses his wisdow to bit the tiger. just remenber those who are weak can beat those who are strong. let's share the story.

An old tiger lives in the forest. He does not want to look for food . He often tells other animals to bring him something to eat.

　　 One day He sees a monkey and says," I'm hungry, monkey. Go to the village and bring me a fat pig."

　　"Oh, Tiger," says the monkey. "I can't do that now. There is another tiger over there. He also wants a fat pig. He will not let me get anything for you to eat. I am afraid of him."

　　"What?" cries the tiger. "Show me that tiger. I will teach him a lesson ."

　　"Come with me," says the monkey.

　　The monkey and the tiger get to a bridge over the river. "Now look down at the water," says the monkey.

　　"Do you see the head, the white teeth and the big green eyes of a tiger?"

　　"Yes, I do," says the old tiger," I will eat him up!"

“Grr…! So you told Monkey not to bring me anything?!Grrr … I’ll kill you!”

With these words the tiger jumped into the river. He did not come out again.

“Ha,ha, ha! Goodbye, Mr Tiger,” said the monkey and he went away . 一只猴子和一只老虎
今天我很高兴站在这里，告诉你一个故事：一只猴子和一只老虎。每个人都认为猴子是非常小，但老虎强。在这个故事中的小猴子用自己的智慧来点老虎。只是记住那些软弱的能打败那些坚强的人。让我们分享的故事。
一只年迈的老虎住在森林里。他不想去寻找食物。他经常告诉其他动物给他带些吃的东西。
一天，他看到一个猴子说，“我饿了，猴子。去村子里给我一个胖猪。”
“哦，老虎，”猴子说。”我现在做不到了。那边还有一只老虎。他还想要一个胖猪。他不让我给你找东西吃。我怕他。”
干嘛。叫老虎。”让我看看那只老虎。我会给他一个教训。”
“随我来，”猴子说。
猴子和老虎到达一座桥。e799bee5baa6e997aee7ad94e59b9ee7ad94330”现在看下面的水，”猴子说。
“你看到头，洁白的牙齿，绿色的大眼睛的老虎吗？”
“是的，我做，说：”老老虎，“我要吃了它！”
“地租…！你叫猴子不要给我带来什么？啊！……我要杀了你！“
说完这些话，老虎就跳进了河里。他再也没有出来。
哈哈哈。再见，老虎先生，”猴子说，他走了。

Mom: "you want to which a banana, victor?" Victor: "I want that one of the greatest." Mom: "victor, you should be polite, to have that little." Victor: "mom, don't polite must lie?" 妈妈：“你要哪一只香蕉，维克多？”　　维克多：“我要那只最大的。”　　妈妈：“维克多，你应该懂礼貌，要那只小的。”　　维克多：“妈妈，难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗？” 10条冷笑话，就几句话， 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
跟你的米e799bee5baa6e58685e5aeb9366酥（一种零食）讲话，然后突然！表现出你被冒犯的样子，把装米酥的碗摔在地上、并一脚踹上去。跟你的室友说你不会打扫，并解释：“我就是要看他们被折磨的样子！”2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
每次你室友回来的时候都大声欢呼：“哇！你回来啦！！”然后围着他跳舞跳上五分钟，接着就一直看表，问他：“你是不是该出去一趟啊？”3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.
做个三明治，不要吃、把它丢在地板上。然后就无视那块三明治、直到你室友受不了把它给扔了。这时候你就可以大声喊饿，问：“我那该死的三明治哪儿去了！？”4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
趁你室友外出的时候，把你的鞋子沾在天花板上，等他回来的一瞬间坐在地板上，摸着头大叫痛。5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
对你室友说：“我有个重要的消息要告诉你！”然后装晕倒。接着等你醒过来的时候就跟他说你忘记是什么消息了。等一会，又说“哦！我记起来了！”然后继续装晕倒。这样持续玩上个几星期。6) Collect hundreds of pens andpile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
买一大堆笔回来，在房间的一边排列好。然后只把其中一支放在房间的另一边，对着它大笑。7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."
买一些刀回来，每天晚上磨，边磨边看着你的室友小声嘟哝：“快了、就快了……”8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"
在你的鼻子上画一条细线，每天加粗一点，然后对着你的室友喊：“看！它在生长！在生长！”9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
把房间里所有东西都移到墙边，一边很认真地盯着地板看，一边问你室友：你觉得一头大象能有多重呢？10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
收集一堆土豆、给它们分别画上脸、取名字。然后把那个以你室友命名的和其他土豆分开。几天后把它烤来吃了，跟你的室友解释说：“它就是跟大家合不来嘛……”